The Importance of Words

"Mama, my throat hurts," my two-year old niece said.

And my sister knew it was time to rush to the emergency room.

It turns out that an allergy (to cashews? we'll find out after tests...)
has the ability to make this little girl stop breathing...
Anaphylactic shock

How does Auntie Tat deal with the situation?
Biblio-therapy ... This book is actually simple and clear enough to work for the littlest ones:


All this to say ... how important it is for little ones to be able to communicate ... how important to share words with little ones...

Hugs All Around: An Outreach Story

I've done
a TON
of outreach last week ...
and there is always more

and

i

love it:

No sooner had I sat down in the "teacher's chair"
one Boy has something to say
"What is it?" I ask
"You're hot!!" he says, and gives me a hug
small Girl and big Boy both follow his lead
"Thank you.  Nice to meet you . . . I'm Miss Hayley, and I'm from the Library..."


Sometime after I bring out the Library's burping frog puppet:

little Girl says seriously, "I'm inviting you to my birthday party."
"Did you all like that? ... (I make eye contact with Girl) Thank you. (I look away to attend 
to a different, needing "friend.")

At the end of the visit, little Girl states: "See you at my party."
Another Sweet Child hugs me good-bye

Hugs All Around
... we all needed them

Thirst for Knowledge

I've been quiet on this blog during my vacation from library-related activities.  I've been finding myself away from the computer ... and racing around ... mentally as well as physically.

I've been learning ... or trying to to learn.

My last day of work before vacation ... my first customer of the day ... I saw an "older gentleman" (as my professional co-worker would say) on crutches ... gingerly making his way over to me: "Good morning.  How can I help you?"  I gathered that he wanted to make a copy but had no library card.  I explained the procedure for this circumstance: "You'll need a card to get the machine to work.  If you go to the front desk with your ten cents, you can get a Courtesy Card."  The patron replied, "I want you to make the copy."  I read his tone as slightly demanding, and I asserted that the copiers were self-service but that I would show him how to use it once he had a card.  In perfect measure the older gentleman responded, "I'll go to the post offiice then."

...


I didn't know what to say.  I had relayed the information. I was ready to help in the way I could ...
I watched him crutch away and  felt unhappy about the interaction.

...

What would you have done?



I recently bought this at Rogers Farmer's Market!  Smart People DO Thirst for Knowledge!



After this experience, I immediately consulted with a colleague.  I feel my reactions weren't the best human response, but I wonder how to work that into "policy."

I've learning about these topics of communication and emotion in my personal life as well ... Which reminds me, I need to update my Shelfari shelf ...

Nonviolent Communication (quotes)

Things to think about while helping an angry person:

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg

"Behind all those messages we've allowed ourselves to be intimidated by are just individuals with unmet needs appealing to us to contribute to their well being." (99)

"...messages previously experienced as critical or blaming begin to be seen for the gifts they are: opportunites to give to people who are in pain." (100)

Communicating with (Pessimistic) Patrons

NOTE TO SELF ... TRY THESE PHRASES:

I have noticed that ...
It seems that ...

I wish I could ...
I can ...

Even though I can't ____, I can ______

What questions do you have about ______

How would you like to see this resolved?

You did not receive good service, and I apologize for that failure on the part of our organization.

(I found these in a notebook without a citation.  They are probably from Communication Briefings: http://communicationbriefings.com/)

Leaders as Servants to Ideas and People

"Institutions function better when the idea, the dream, is to the fore, and the person, the leader is seen as servant of the idea ... It is the idea that unites people in the common effort, not the charisma of the leader ... Far too many of our contemporary institutions do not have an adequate dream, an imaginative concept that will raise people's sights close to where they have the potential to be ...(78)"
From The Power of Servant Leadership by Robert K. Greenleaf

I do believe that we should always reach for our potential; There is always something to learn.  However, sociology major undergrad that I am, I realize the importance of dynamics with people.  So I also recommend reading 151 Quick Ideas to Improve Your People Skills by Robert E. Dittmer and Stephanie McFarland.

And while we are on the topic of institutional/personal potential and communication skills VERSUS the mentality that the person with the most power (e.g. loudest voice, strongest kick) K.O.s ... OK's the role of leader ... try The Gentle Art of Communicating with Kids: From Toddlers to Teens by Suzette Haden Elgin, Ph.D.

I'm liking that I can now rightfully post 

images of book covers

that I find fascinating 

and appropriate to the topics of this blog.

Enjoy ... and please feel free to make a comment!

Google Books

Have a quote? Google Book search it.  (Note the new interface!)
 
"The overall purpose of human communication is -- or should be -- reconciliation." M Scott Peck

Active Listening for Unity and Leadership

I've recently submitted an article to the EMIE Bulletin within the Multicultural Review.  The article is entitled "Using Picturebooks to Foster Unity"

In my personal and professional life, communication, especially communication across differences, has been on my mind, and I've been exploring paths toward unity.  I've recently listened to 21 Ways to Defuse Anger and Calm People Down and have been observing my mentors as they listen and speak with others - the public and colleagues as well as friends and family.

The term "active listening," a term I first actively heard as an Emerging Leader last year, also offers some solutions.

According to Mind Tools, the five key elements of active listening are:

1. Pay attention.
2. Show that you are listening.
3. Provide feedback.
4. Defer judgement.
5. Respond appropriately.

Donald Clark's adds that "active listening" is when the "listener attends to the words and the feelings."  He also succintly outlines the barriers of communication.

Once again, I am thinking about the correlation of emotional intelligence and communication which result in leadership...